High Variance

Siracusa 2016

Siracusa 2016

Fellow Americans, our country has come a long way in the last 50 years. We have had our first Catholic president, our first African-American president, and almost our first Mormon president. In a few generations we will almost certainly have our first gay president. I say the time has come for our first geek president and John Siracusa is the perfect1 person for the job.

For those of you who have never heard of him, Mr. Siracusa is a software developer by day and an ace gamer, devoted father, loving husband, and nerd celebrity by night. He’s most known for his tour-de-force reviews of (Mac) OS X and more recently for his wide-ranging soapbox podcast Hypercritical. It is these venues where Mr. Siracusa has demonstrated he has the skills our country needs.

He is the ultimate natural analyst, able to glance at anything and quickly identify its strengths and (especially) weaknesses. While he typically applies his super-power to tech products2, it will be amazing to see him use it to intelligently dissect and choose among potential public policies.

Mr. Siracusa is also blessed with big picture vision, a critical requirement for a successful chief executive. He can tell you about the future of computing, software distribution, TV, and even toasters. His ideas about using artificial worlds as petri dishes for social policy are exciting and promising (if not completely original). Once he throws off the corporation-imposed shackles banning political discourse that bound him on Hypercritical, I am certain we will see a beautiful clear vision for the future of America and indeed the planet.

Mr. Siracusa has the integrity, humility, and moral compass that the American public wants in a president but is so often lacking. He has a warm heart and is unafraid to defend unpopular groups–nerds, cosplaying-wanna-be-nerds, homosexuals, and trans-sexuals are all welcome in his big tent. He’s a humble every-man who is able to make fun of himself and his election season cameos on Saturaday Night Live will surely be hilarious. While a presidential campaign always brings out the muck rackers, I’d be shocked if they unearthed any Siracusa scandals.

December 28, 2012 was a sad day as the final Hypercritical episode was recorded, but think about it this way: John Siracusa now has a big hole in his schedule to fill. America needs him!

  1. OK, he’s not perfect. I don’t know if he’s ever left the country so maybe he’d have to brush up on foreign policy. And sure, he has no executive experience and eschews management jobs. And he doesn’t like risk. But no one is perfect.

  2. My favorite example is his obsession with video game controllers which he demonstrates convincingly in episodes 49, 50, and 99 of Hypercritical.