High Variance

My Little Pony: Revelation

It’s been a rough winter filled with snow days and sickness and not enough sleep. Tonight the wind is howling and the temperature is supposed to drop to the single digits. To get us in the mood for spring, the girls and I hunkered down in front of YouTube to hear Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the My Little Ponies sing “Winter Wrap-up”.

In the video, the ponies are also tired of winter and are preparing for spring. Actually, scratch that, they aren’t getting ready for spring–they have decided it’s time for spring and they are physically bringing it into being. The Pegasus ponies are annihilating the storm clouds and removing the snow from roofs and trees. Apple Jack and the other earth ponies are plowing the snow off the fields and lakes, and planting seeds. Fluttershy is waking up all the hibernating animals with a little bell. That’s when it hit me: These ponies are not mere cartoon characters at all–They’re gods!

The rulers of Equestria (Princess Celestia and Princess Luna) are obviously the old gods of the Sun and Moon. I’m surprised they aren’t named Princess Ra and Princess Khonsu. It also turns out each of the Mane Six ponies has a clear analog in Greek mythology:

  • Twilight Sparkle is Athena, Goddess of Wisdom.
  • Pinkie Pie is Dionysus, God of ritual madness and ecstasy–aka partying.
  • Rainbow Dash is Hermes–the winged messenger of the gods who is quick and cunning and patron of athletics and sports.
  • Apple Jack is Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest.
  • Rarity is Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty and Love.
  • Fluttershy is Artemis, Protector of the Animals.

I think spring had better come soon before I go completely insane.

Hurry up ponies!