When this song first hit pop radio, I hated it. It’s unoriginal, it drones on and on, and my kids love it so I can’t change the radio station when it comes on. The worst part is that it’s from 50 Shades of Grey, and makes me think of that creepy guy doing bad things to the girl whenever I hear it. On the other hand, it is catchy, and I do like the trashy Euro-disco stylings of Ellie Goulding. I’ve recently found one more reason to appreciate the song.

I was one of those kids who loved making mix tapes in the 80’s. I recorded my friend’s older sister’s Beach Boys singles with my little Radio Shack cassette deck. I also recorded all my favorite tv show theme songs on a single tape. I once made a mix that alternated Black Sabbath and Beatles songs just because I could. My hobby blossomed in the 2000’s with the arrival of iTunes and playlists. I was a little more mature, so the collections of songs I created then are a mostly more straight-forward; e.g., “My favorite Hair Metal” and “Totally Rockin 80’s Party”.

Perhaps the best play list I ever made was “Stammer Rock”. You would be amazed how many songs make stuttering a key element of the song. You would also be amazed by how many pop genres these songs span and how well they flow together. You don’t have to take my word for it: Now you too can experience the slightly absurd spectacle of Stammer Rock on Spotify. I challenge you listen all the way through without smiling and shaking your head.

Dear Taylor,

When you decided to pull all of your music out of Spotify, the economist in me understood. You did a cost benefit analysis and realized the pennies per play you were getting from Spotify just didn’t add up to that many millions of dollars. That is, if you dropped Spotify like a bad boyfriend, enough Spotify listeners would be compelled to pony up for the album to make you even more money.

The catchy pop song enthusiast in me was less excited about your decision–My monthly Spotify fee is supposed to protect me from having to buy any albums at all. When you left, I was okay for a while because even though the first single on 1989 was good, I was able to shake off the temptation to purchase it since at any particular moment, it was playing on at least one local radio station.

Then came your second single which was better than the first. Even though it was on the radio almost all the time, I still had a blank space in my heart since I couldn’t hear it any tine I wanted. Bent but not broken, I stayed true to my principles and refused to buy.

Your third single was the best yet–exactly my style with that Alan Parsons Project inspired pure 80’s guitar line. I could not resist. I wasn’t strong enough. Spotify has my money and now you have another $9.09 (iTunes takes 30% off the $12.99 purchase price).

Your whole album is a tour de force of syrupy sweet catchiness, and I am glad that I now own a legal copy of it forever. It can never be ripped away from me on some artist’s whim like all of my other Spotify favorites. And if I fall on hard times, I won’t need to pay Spotify (or Beats or rdio) to prop me up. My leglly purchased Taylor Swift albums will carry me through.

The problem is I’m not who I thought I was. I thought I was stronger. I thought I could stay true. You made me look in the mirror and see the real truth: A flesh and blood person with flaws and needs.

Darn you Taylor Swift!

Your frenemy forever,

Doug

In the weeks after I posted my case for 1983 as a crucial year in heavy metal history, I went through a crisis of faith. What about Judas Priest? What about Iron Maiden? And what if I forgot an even bigger band or album? Luckily I could turn to my metal sensei in this time of need. The same Mike who dragged me to the import metal bins at the Rockin’ Mania record store in Framingham and opened my eyes to a whole world of music was just an email away. Here’s what he had to say:

Nice article, but you missed out on a lot of other stuff was going on around that time. First, while I was a big fan of all Maiden’s albums up to and including Seventh Son, I think the albums before and after 1983’s Piece of Mind are actually more influential. In 1982 Maiden toured the world with Judas Priest. They headlined everywhere except the US. This album and tour really exposed Maiden to the fans in America and turned them into the pre-eminent act of the decade. 1984 brought Powerslave which launched Maiden into the mainstream with heavy rotation on MTV for both Aces High and Two Minutes to Midnight. This was accompanied by the first tour by a western rock artist into the Soviet Bloc, years before the much ballyhoo’d Billy Joel tour. So, the final word on Maiden: Piece of mind has a couple of their biggest live hits but lacked the impact of the other two records.

There are a few records that aren’t on your list which I believe some credit:

First, Dio’s Holy Diver. Enough said.

Try not to shit on the next two before I get done.

Def Leppard Pyromania. These guys pretty much single handedly started the hair metal era. I know there are a lot of other bands that were important to the genre, but this album really kicked it off.

Quiet Riot Metal Health. Not the most creative musically, but it had some catchy stuff. The important part regarding this one is the fact that it was the first metal album to reach number one on Billboard’s top 100. Unheard of ground for a band of this genre.

I’m glad you gave a nod to Ozzy’s Bark at the Moon. Not his best work by any stretch, but it did resurrect his career from the aftermath of Randy Rhodes’ death.

I am still a fan of Shout at the Devil. It is the only true metal album Crue ever put out and is my favorite even though some of my favorite songs come from other records.

You were always a little more into the hair bands than I, but I do have to give credit to the genre for helping to bring metal to the mainstream. A friend and I were discussing the phenomenon of mainstreaming the other day. I am constantly amazed by the music accepted by the mainstream media that we had to stay up until 1 in the morning to hear on the radio. Not only that, but the generic rock bands are so much heavier than rock of our era. Imagine what our friends would have thought of Linkin Park back in 1985. Or more entertaining would be to play some Motionless in White or Asking Alexandria.

I could go on, but I have to get ready for a barbecue. I look forward to your thoughts.

I got lucky with Iron Maiden’s Piece of Mind, and Judas Priest didn’t release an album in 1983. The incredible Screaming for Vengeance came out in 1982, and was followed by the less incredible Defenders of the Faith in 1984. Omitting Dio’s Holy Diver, however, was my worst nightmare–That album is pure fantasy metal and has been unbelievably influential. I bet millions of kids around the world played that cassette to death in the eighties just like I did.

Mike always had a soft spot for Quiet Riot that I still don’t understand. After these lyrics, how can anyone take this band seriously?

Cum on feel the noize
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild

But Mike is right–Quiet Riot were pop metal and they were the first metal band to have the number one album in the country. It’s a shame it had to be them.

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I thought long and hard about including “Pyromania” on my list, but at the end of the day I decided Def Leppard was a hard rock band that happened to have good hair and bad spelling. That said, I loved this album, and they were heavier than most stuff on the radio at the time. I killed this cassette too.

As for mainstreaming of heavy music, Mike’s experience in Southern California couldn’t be more different from mine in New Haven, CT. Until Mike’s email, I’d never even heard of Motionless in White or Asking Alexandria, let alone heard them on the radio. My choices are country, classic rock, hip hop, or tween pop. The heaviest it gets is old Van Halen and AC/DC. If you want metal around here, you’ve got to go looking pretty far away from the main stream. Luckily, there’s plenty out there.

I love Dokken and I know I’m not alone. George Lynch is an amazing guitarist, and Don Dokken has a perfect hair metal voice. They really are the musician’s hair metal band. But even I have to admit that Dokken was not the most original band in the world. For years, it bugged me that their song “Tooth and Nail” ripped off Foreigner’s “Tooth and Nail”. And just recently I realized that many of their songs share titles with other big eighties (or late seventies) songs. In a few cases, Dokken came first, but with most, Dokken looks more like the inspired party than the inspiration. I thought it would be fun to explore when Dokken’s song was better (or worse) with a little head-to-head competition.

I grew up outside Boston surrounded by Irish-American kids named Sully and Patrick. Even though my last name was McKee, I was different. I was told that my ancestors were MacKays from Scotland who migrated to Ireland and changed their name to McKee to avoid discrimination. I read Scottish folk tales, fantasized about competing in the Highland Games, and seriously considered getting a kilt. I tracked down my tartan, and as a young adult toured Scottish castles and got lost in the moors on my mountain bike. I know this sounds ridiculous coming from a suburban American kid, but Scotland felt like home. Then when I was about 30 I told my dad this story and he just laughed. It turns out while one of my distant relatives was indeed Scottish, the rest of his side of the family was full-blooded Irish. I couldn’t believe it. I like U2’s early work as much as the next guy, but suddenly I was supposed to embrace St. Patrick’s Day, leprechauns, and the color green?

In the years since, I’ve tried to have an open mind and learn more about my new homeland. It hasn’t come naturally, but I am happy to report that I’ve found a band that seems to have kindled a little bit of Irish pride in me. Primordial was founded in 1987 near Dublin and has released seven albums that are an incredible mixture of epic black metal and Irish folk music. While the instruments are not traditional, many of the melodies are. The lyrics range from wild fantasy to Irish history. The singer (Alan Averil) is amazing–you feel exactly what he’s feeling.

I found Primordial through the Requiem Metal Podcast where you can listen to a two part episode about the band and hear several of their songs. They have truly unique sound that really speaks to me. Maybe I’ll wear green tomorrow.